Sep 27

I have a dream, and it terrifies me.


Ever since I was 10 years old, my dream has been to be an author. I want to write fiction, poetry, or even work as a freelance writer. So long as I’m writing, I don’t care. I’ve already written 100’s of poems, although, in my humble opinion, they are of questionable quality. {lol} Regardless, that’s been my dream, my goal, my passion for 23 years now. (Wow. That makes me feel old. {lol})

At one point, I had a “job” as a freelance writer with the Examiner. I was so excited, however, it wasn’t a freelance writing job, in so much as it was me trying to drum up traffic for someone else’s “blog”, receiving very little credit or pay. Also the position I was promised was not what they wanted from me in the end. We just didn’t agree on my possible writing topics in the end.

Now I’ve been asked to take a “writing test” for a different freelance writing site, which consists of a grammar test and a 300-word writing sample.

I’m terrified.

I’d like to think that I’m pretty decent at grammar. At the same time, I know that in the 15 years I’ve been out of high school I’ve picked up a lot of bad writing habits. They give you a page full of basic grammar rules to look over and brush up on. I looked over the areas that have always been my weakest, and I terrified and intimidated.

Then there’s the writing sample, I don’t know if they are going to give me a topic or if I will be able to chose my own. Either way, again I’m terrified. What if I screw that up too? Where I’m at right now, emotionally, it would crush me. Of the two parts to the test, I think the writing sample scares me more.

I think, in the end, I’ll do okay, that doesn’t change the fact that I am beyond terrified.

What about you? Do you have a dream that you have dreamed of for so long it terrifies you? If so, what is it and what did you? Did you allow fear to rule your actions or did you go for your dream despite your fear?

About the author


I am just a girl
With ADHD.
A girl
With Fibromyalgia.
A girl
With a back ‘injury’ and chronic migraines.
A girl, in the minority,
With Asperger’s Syndrome.
A girl
With a dark past and a much brighter future.
I am just a girl
Please take extra time to get to know me,
In spite of my labels.
And watch what wonderful things happen
Despite my labels!
Copyright (c) 2012 Elizabeth Gorski